So usually I'm pretty darn good at keeping up with this blog...this past month however has been more than a challenge, physically and mentally. I finally went back to work Nov 2nd and It has been a blessing in disguise. Of course I was really dreading leaving the princess but I only work 4 hours a day 7:15- 11 am (which is perfect hours). I'm working at Great Oak High School in Temecula and I LOVE IT! The school is beautiful, the staff is friendly and I already feel like I fit right in. My sister's best friends mom is watching Av in the morning and she is amazing! Lisa, you were God Sent...Avarey and I love you!! Av really is doing amazing with mommy back at work...no tantrums...so far!
A few weeks ago (like a week before I started back at work) John and I found out that I was pregnant. Of course I had mixed feelings about having another baby so soon with Av not even a year yet. WE didn't tell anyone...so If you are reading this now and are totally surprised I'm sorry. I didn't even tell my mom or Jen. I'm glad that I didn't. My first week back at work, I started bleeding and I eventually had a miscarriage that Friday. Again I haven't told anyone about any of this of except of course for My Family and Jen (which is also family). I made two Emergency Room Visits that week which ended in me being admitted into Labor and Delivery for a D&C. The doctor Feared that I was going to hemorrhage if I tried to let it happen naturally. So I was put to sleep for the first time and rolled into the OR around 10 pm. The procedure took about an hour and a half. I don't remember any of it...thank goodness. It's been a whirlwind, but I'm doing ok. I have my bad moments...I don't have time for Bad days. I know that everything happens for a reason and that I did nothing wrong. It still hurts and I'm struggling to make peace with all of this. Work and of course Avarey have been amazing distractions. John has also been more than helpful, I love you babe and thank you for being an amazing daddy and partner. I decided to put this in the blog because I'm not ready to talk about it with anyone. I figured by writing it down...it would take a few bricks off my chest. And I feel a little lighter right now actually. I'm not great at keeping secrets this particular secret has been a heavy burden on me.
On a lighter note...
Avarey is doing AMAZING!!! She crawling everywhere and pulling her self up on anything and everything!! She loves music ...especially country...and LOVES to DANCE!!! She just started clapping this week it's too stinking cute! We are learning to blow kisses...and she already waves at everyone...hi and Bye! Her first word may have been dada but her favorite one is mama!! Not gonna lie...it makes me very happy..hehehe! Seriously Av says mama all day long and will even crawl over to me and pull herself up holding onto my legs!! She is getting so BIG! She'll be 9 months on the 23rd! Where did the time go?? I have a feeling she'll be walking by Christmas...she has no fearand is almost able to stand up on her own!! John and I are so in love with her, she really is such a blessing in our lives!
I have many new posts to come packed with pictures...hopefully I'll get to them soon!